You ever feel like giving up?

Book: Zombie Samurai Hunter
Words: 4,000
Time: 11:30 - 6:30pm (minus 2 hrs break)
Mood: Down
Impression: It's good

I wrote 4,000 words today but felt that I wrote a lot more. I had said that I would write an entire chapter today but I can't do it. I took a break for dinner and then watched back to back episodes of Oprah interviewing James Frey. It was interesting. But the result was that I no longer feel like writing. I know that 4,000 words is pretty good for a day, but I was hoping to satisfy a psychological need that I have tonight. And not writing doesn't help me.

I think that the celibacy thing while living alone is causing me to feel things that aren't pleasant. What also doesn't help is finding out that someone that you thought you could be interested in is dating her ex. To be honest I kind of feel like my skin is boiling and I need someone to touch me to remove the heat. And yes that will be mentioned in my book. Most of what I feel ends up in my books. I'm not great with expressing my feelings in everyday life, but I'm fantastic at explaining them to others in stories. I always have been.

And since I barely feel what I'm feeling, I explain my feelings in a way that people who do feel, feel very intensely. But I have to say that today is one of those days when I wish I could just go to sleep and stay there. I think that I have done more than my fair share in life. I could live with that being a completed set.

I imagine that there could be people who read this and think, wow, Cristian really seems dark today. But the truth is that this isn't even close to being a bad day for me. The only difference is that because of what I spent the day writing I feel less capable of hiding it. Man I feel like I'm on fire. Oh well.

My first day back writing Samurai Zombie Hunter

Book: Samurai Zombie Hunter
Words: 4,392
Time: 10:30 - 4:30pm (minus 1hr for lunch)
Mood: Good
Impression: It's good

After 5 months today was my first day back writing Samurai Zombie Hunter. I was very hesitant to start up again, but it wasn't bad. Unfortunately I have to go to a really dark place to write the book but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. It flowed quite easily once I was a few hours in and I wrote almost 50% more words than required.

I have been celibate for a week now, and quite honestly, I don't think that it will last the night. Too many temptations. Oh well. Maybe I'll just break it once. We'll see.

Other than that I got a list of everyone who won a free copy of Fixing Cupid. It was 200 people total. Hopefully I will get a few good reviews out of it. I think that it is a hilarious book, but my opinion barely counts.

I can't write much today because I just finished writing moments ago and I need to try and find some acting work before it's too late today. I also am screening the movie Cats Dancing On Jupiter tonight. I have to leave in a few minutes for that. And I need to eat before I go.

More tomorrow if I'm not working. I promise.

Was interviewed for a documentary because I wrote a book

Book: Happiness Thru The Art of... Penis Enlargement
Book: Samurai Zombie Hunter

Today I was interviewed for a documentary on penis enlargement. I'm not sure what I can say about it, but I was very happy with the interview. It is never until I do interviews that I realize just how much information I have on a topic. And also, you never know how much information you have until you look around and ask people, "did you know this?"

Anyway, it was fun. I still have to figure out a way to be on camera more. I love it and I'm good at it. I guess the point is that if I keep doing it and do it well, I will get more opportunities.

Today is day two of celibacy. I miss masturbation. Did you know that Everybody Masturbates? Yeah, I read that in a book somewhere.

I did not do any work on Samurai Zombie Hunter today. I probably won't do any tomorrow either. But I feel that as long as my day is productive then I'm fine. The truth is that after my interview, I was so jazzed by the way it went that I couldn't do any more work for the day. Instead I got in a brisk few games of racquetball. Tomorrow I have a job interview and then I have a friend in town that I promised to spend time with. Thursday though. I will be back to writing on Thursday.

I have also decided that I will be checking my sales numbers at the end of June. There will be no backing out of that. It is firm. That is when I will do it. And my goal is to have Samurai Zombie Hunter done by then.

I will be celibate for the next 2 months while I write my next book

Book: Samurai Zombie Hunter

Just a quick note to say that I reread the first 3 and a half chapters of Samurai Zombie Hunter. It is good story telling. Tomorrow morning I have to do some research for my afternoon on camera interview for the documentary company interviewing me about Happiness Thru the Art of Penis Enlargement. And after that I check out my notes for what is going to happen for the rest of the book.

I hope that I can match the style that I started in the first chapters. It is a very sexual style, and no doubt it has to do with the fact that I was intentionally celibate while I was writing it. The first chapters are bursting with sexuality. And if I am going to do justice to what I have started, I have to be celibate again.

I remember the celibacy driving me nuts the first time I did it. I don't look forward to starting it, but I guess I already have. And for the next 2 months I won't even touch myself in a masturbatory way. If I remember correctly, this will be hard for the first month. And then after I lose all desire to live life, the overwhelming feeling will subside.

But I'm tired now and I'm going to sleep. I can barely keep my eyes open. I will have to write more on the topic tomorrow.

My book is a book club selection

Book: Run From The Reaper
Book: Fixing Cupid

I am still on vacation from writing so I have been spending my time doing that other thing that writers do. I'm promoting my books. Last night I emailed everyone in my address about my 'The First Day After Life' 5 star review. I've gotten a couple of great responses from it. I had been waiting to send it out until I finished Run From The Reaper and Everybody vs The Ferret: 1. It was good to get that done.

Also, I've made a decision that I will make as large of an effort possible to get at least 1 blog interview per week. It's ambitious but I have to try. I already spend a lot of time on Amazon Kindle's Facebook page and on Kindle Boards. I'm already giving away free copies on LibraryThing and blogging and tweeting. Blog interviews were the next logical step.

So this week's interview will be a live interview on Saturday with GreatMindsThinkAloud Book Club. And the interview will be the first step in them making two of my books their book club selection. In June Run From The Reaper will be one of their books. And in July they will be doing Fixing Cupid. If you would like to join along please sign up. It will be fun to have you.

Also, a date was set by the documentary company that will be interviewing me about my book Happiness Thru The Art of... Penis Enlargement. Apparently I am one of the foremost experts on the form of penis enlargement called Jelqing. They will be coming by my place on Tuesday to shoot the interview. It should be fun because let me tell you, I love being on camera. I have no problem admitting that.

It was a busy day. There is a clear benefit to having written in so many genres. I wonder if it outweighs the downside of not building up a consistent readership? Well, I guess I will never know because I could never just write in one genre continuously. I hope that readers will choose to check out my other book anyway.

Released 2 books today

Book: Run From The Reaper
Book: Everybody vs The Ferret
Mood: Great!
Impression: It's pretty great

Today I released 2 books. These are both books that were created from previous scripts that I spent a lot of time on. I'm very happy with both releases. And the great thing is that both books got sales on their first day. You've got to love that. Thank you readers.

On an unfortunate note, I do have to change the description for 'The First Day After Life'. Unfortunately I received a bad review and I think it was because the person was expecting something else when he read the book. The funny thing is that I didn't want to write what I wrote. But I was talked into writing it.

There was even a point when I said, "Don't you think that a reader might be upset if I don't mention the fact that the book takes place in the living world and the afterlife but I don't mention it?" The person said that they wouldn't. Now I have a bad review. And the unfortunate thing is that I found it just after I emailed 300 people bragging about my other great 5 star review. DAMN IT!

Oh well. What are you gonna do... I mean other than looking around my place looking for something destructive I could do to take my mind off of my one bad review. But hey, on the other hand, I did get 3 great five star reviews in the last couple of days for 'Everybody Masturbates.' Well, I guess you can't win them all.

I keep thinking whether or not I should change something in the book 'The First Day After Life' and I keep thinking 'no'. The book is exactly the way that it should be. I wrote it the way I did to answer the question of why bad things happen to people. I can't explain that without talking about everything that I did talk about in the book. That is what the book is. Oh well. I guess that that is the problem with writing books, sometimes people don't like them.

Everybody vs The Ferret:1 is done!

Book: Everybody vs The Ferret: 1
Words: 7,852 (editing)
Time: Noon - 4:30
Mood: Excellent
Impression: It pretty good

I am so happy that I'm done! I am so incredibly happy to be done. I was so tired. This fury that I was on was such a burden to me. The absolute truth is that I think that I lost my mind for a moment there. And all I could do to survive is write. And since that is the only thing that I could do, I did it and I didn't stop doing it.

I was writing out of desperation because I was having an existential crisis. I really didn't know why I was living life. I have always gotten so much praise from people for everything that I've done and yet I still wasn't were I wanted to be. And it was killing me. And I don't really mean that figuratively. I mean that I was closer to death than I will admit. I wanted to not be here any more.

But then I started writing. And I wrote with complete abandon. I decided that if I wasn't going to be here anymore than I was going to leave something behind. And I knew that if it existed electronically then it would survive me. So I converted everything that I had into an ebook and I just kept going.

But today when I hit publish on the Kindle program I felt such a relief. I was so happy! I was done! Even thinking about it now I almost want to fall down onto my knees and cry. It was an incredibly dark time for me. And writing kept me alive. And now that that is done I can let whatever happens to me happen. If I must go back to a marketing job that I don't love, I can do it. If I have to go back to the Bahamas and die there, so be it. What I'm saying is that I have accomplished what I wanted to do and now I'm open to what may come next.

I still have things scheduled to write. For example after my week break is up I have to turn my attention to the next one which I don't even want to acknowledge. And in a months time I have to write Everybody vs The Ferret: 2. But today after I finished the book, I drove to the racquetball court and I felt normal again. I needed to be done so badly. And now I am. And I'm going to enjoy it for a while.

Though in the mean time I have the launch of Run From the Reaper in a day and Everybody vs The Ferret: 1 the same day. And I will have to do as marketing for that as I can think of so that I it does what it is supposed to do as a book.

Honestly, everyone who is reading this. I hope that you enjoy the books. They and especially Run From the Reaper represents me in an accurate way. And when you read it, keep in mind that the runner in the beginning of the story is me. That is how I felt when I wrote it. The Red Reaper was my demon.