I have Lost My Writing Mojo

There is no doubt that I have lost my writing mojo. I no longer have the drive to churn out the books like I have been. On Tuesday I started Everybody vs The Ferret: 3, spent 2 days working on the outline and haven't touched it since.

Certainly what derailed my productivity on Thursday was the fact that I had a job interview smack in middle of the day. And what derailed my productivity today was that I needed to do a few hours of video editing prep in the middle of the day. But if I was the man I was before the mental crash, I could have come home, shut everything out of my mind and written the first chapter of book 3. But alas, I am a shadow of my former self.

I did manage to get some editing on Samurai Zombie Hunter done tonight though. That book is also moving extremely slowly. However, I did edit two chapters today, so now I am more than half way done with the book. I still can't decide what I think about the book, but I do know that as long as I keep putting in the time on both books, eventually both will be done.

I do have to say that I do like the story that I outlined for Everybody vs The Ferret: 3. I had re-read Everybody vs The Ferret: 2 in preparation and book 2 was pretty great. I can say with a little pride that book 3 should turn out to be on the same level as 2. Book 2 was very intelligent. Book 3 isn't as clever, but it does say more about life.

While creating the outline I began to think that this would be my last book in the series. Originally I had thought that I would do 6, but my spirit is now broken. I didn't think I could continue on. But after writing the last sentence of the outline it suddenly hit me what book 4 should be about. So if I write book 4 it will be about what porn must make kids think about life. It is a topic that I have never seen addressed. And I think that it is a topic that's ripe for satire.

Other than that I have spent the last week in a horrible mental state. I wasn't kidding when I said that I hate my life. But there have been a few things that have changed since I made that conclusion. One of those things is that I have found what could be another source of passive income. It doesn't solve any of the problems that I'm experiencing, but it is at least distracting. And maybe if I'm distracted for long enough, I can pretend that the bad things don't exist.

I do have to admit though, in spite of everything and my feelings toward it, I do have one hell of an interesting life. If I were watching it instead of having to live it, I think I would be intrigued by it. I keep making very interesting decisions. They aren't bad decisions. They are just fascinating decisions. And I am constantly wondering what those choices say about me as a person. Very interesting.