Finished writing my book: Everybody vs The Ferret: 2

Book: Run From The Reaper
Book: Everybody vs The Ferret: 2
Words: 4,126
Time: 11 - 5 (minus 1 hr)
Mood: Good
Impression: It is a great piece of satire

So after slacking off yesterday, I worked hard today and finished Everybody vs The Ferret: 2. And I can say with full confidence that it is a great piece of satire. It's clever, intelligent and you learn a little something at the end. Of the two, it is the best book.

I'm in a much better mood today. I did work until about 1:30 am last night and I did send out over a hundred review copies for Run From The Reaper. And after that I uploaded all of the rest of my books to OmniLit.com. That made my overall day yesterday very productive. And now that I have finished writing the book two days late (but still within my acceptable window), I can forgive myself from my transgression of taking a break. And yes, I do realize how ridiculous that sounds. :-)

What's left is maybe trying to play a game of racquetball tonight. And I could get a jump on tomorrow's work if I work on the cover for the book tonight. I know that the cover will only take me a few hours so I'm sure that it will just breeze on by.

Tomorrow I will edit Everybody vs The Ferret: 2 and after that it will be ready to put it up. The goal of this book and all of the books in this series is to finish them in the same length of time it takes the producers of South Park to finish an episode of their show. The goal of this series for me is to build up my writing chops so that if I ever get a chance to write for a television series I'm ready.

That is in part why I was so mad at myself yesterday. TV writers are only given a few days to complete a script. I wanted to prove to myself that I could write a story under a similar time constraint. To that end I kind of failed. But hey, I will be doing it all again next month, so I will get another chance at it.

I already know the basic story line of book 3. In that story the girl fruitheads will discover a mysterious button on their body that when pressed will transport them to a magical realm full of unicorns and rainbows. The problem is that their trip only lasts a short time so they have to constantly press the button in order to get back there. The main girls share the knowledge to other girls and it becomes a world where the girls rule.

But the boys find out about their own buttons and they press their buttons almost without end. That means that the boys practically take up residents in this magical world. When the girls want to again take control of the realm a battle between the boys and girls break out. And the future of the magical realm rest on whoever is the victor.

That's next month. But for this month I have to release this book, edit Samurai Zombie Hunter and then write another book. That last one will be a YA science fiction book. I don't know if I've mentioned it here. I think I have. But anyway that is what I'm doing next.

After that last book is done, I will be done with creating new book series for the year. My task after that will be to write sequels and subsequent books within my current book series. I don't know if it will be fun to revisit the worlds I created, but since I will only be doing for my most popular books, it should allow me to finally earn my living solely as an author.

I'm disgusted with my laziness!

Book: Everybody vs The Ferret: 2
Words: 2,081
Time: 10:30 - 2pm
Mood: A little disgusted
Impression: Kind of funny

I feel like such a slacker loser today! I am only going to write 2,000 words today. Seriously, I had the whole friggin' day. But I decide to go play rugby instead of work. I ask you, will rugby pay my bills? No it won't. But yet, there I was.

But, could I have come home afterwards and write? Yes, but I chose to socialize with a friend's family who is in town. But still, could I be writing right now? Yes... But I'm not. I'm such a horrible slacker, loser. Seriously, I could barely stand to think about it right now. All that comes to mind is a line from a movie, "And this is why you fail."

Ya know, if I ever want to look back over my life and try to figure out why I haven't achieved the things that I wanted to, all I have to do is think about right now and how much of a lazy ass I am and I'll have my answer. I'm just disgusted!

Since I am no longer in the right mindset to write comedy, I need to figure out some way to salvage tonight. Last night I did manage to finish my spreadsheet of book winners and I sent out the email at 1 am. I also added 3 of my books to OmniLit for sale. In spite of the time I wasted during the day, I did manage to do that.

Maybe today I will start sending out some of the copies of Run From The Reaper to the book winners. It usually takes 4 or 5 hours to do it and I usually stretch it over a few days. So if I start now, maybe it will salvage the day in terms of productivity. I can also add a few more of my books to OmniLit. That could make the night productive.

Ya know, I know where my stinkin' attitude is coming from. It's because for the last few days I've been reading about everyone else's book sales for May. There are a number of people who have posted saying that after one month of release they are selling hundreds of books. And yet last night I updated my sales projection for June and July and I'm including numbers like 7 and 10. I actually felt nervous about projecting that I would sell 22 copies of Everybody Masturbates in July. Are you kidding me? 22? I am worried about selling 22 books? And to bring it all back around, the reason that I have to include a number like 22 to is because I'm just such a friggin' lazy ass who thinks they can half ass it through life. I'm so disgusted with myself.

Granted, I do know that I don't actually know how many books I've sold. I could be selling more than 22 books a month. Ahhh, and it hurts my heart that I could actually be selling less. Ahhh! Man I suck!

I think that at some point soon I have to check my sales numbers. With each book I release I am feeling worse and worse about myself. It didn't help that my last royalty payment was the lowest one that I had in months. Granted, it was March and that was the month that I marked my books down to 99 cents. But still...

On a positive note, I do really love my Samurai Zombie Hunter cover. I haven't tested it yet with enough people to gage people's reactions but I personally think it is my coolest cover. Cool, however, doesn't sell books. Genre specific covers sell books. I know that a zombie book with a rotting zombie on the cover would sell more books. The only problem with that cover though is that Samurai Zombie Hunter is a character study as much as it is a zombie book.

Samurai Zombie Hunter is about a very lonely guy who starts to feel even more lonely when he starts cutting off the heads of zombies with a samurai sword. The book isn't about being trapped in a mall with zombies trying to get in. It is about the main character coming to understand what it must be like to be a zombie. It is also about the moral and political implications of dealing with an inevitable pandemic. Crap I'm feeling disgusted with myself again. I couldn't just write a friggin' 'hiding in a mall' zombie book? Such an F'ing loser. I don't deserve to sell any books. I'm such a friggin' loser!

Ok, now that I have cheered myself right up (sarcasm) I am going to try and salvage the productivity of my night. And tomorrow, although I'm sure that it will take me 9 or 10 hours to finish the book, I am going to absolutely give it a try. Even though Roger Federer is play Rafael Nadal in the finals of the French Open tomorrow and I so much want to watch it, I will have to wait until I finish the book to do it. And if I end up finding out the score before I get a chance to watch it, it serves me right. I shouldn't have been such a friggin' slacker today.

Man I'm in a pleasant mood.

Everybody vs The Ferret: 2 enters the writing stage

Book: Everybody vs The Ferret: 2
Words: 3,960
Time: 10:30 - 6pm (minus 1.5hrs)
Mood: Blah
Impression: It's a really funny concept but I don't know

I didn't quite make it to my word count goal today, but not because I didn't work hard enough. It was more because I got to the end of act 1. It was a good stopping point.

Honestly, I'm not sure how it's going. I know that it's a great, funny outline, but what does that mean? It is about the moments that are strung together. I question it. I guess I'll have to see.

One thing that I have to do tonight is finish converting all of the Run From The Reaper book giveaway winners to an excel spreadsheet. There are 200 names so it takes a while. I'm on 50.

But tomorrow I have to get up and write some more. I plan on playing rugby so don't know if I can finish the book tomorrow but I should be able to finish it by Sunday. I was thinking that the book would only be about 8,000 words but that can't be right because act 1 was over 4,500 words. There are three acts.

But we'll see.

New Cover for Samurai Zombie Hunter

Books: Samurai Zombie Hunter
Books: Everybody vs The Ferret: 2
Words: 568
Time: noon - 2pm
Mood: Pretty good
Impression: It's Ok

My writing got completely derailed today because I had to deal with RememberTheBahamas.com business when I woke up. And then after that another author asked me for advice. And after that I had to run a very important errand. So by noon my mind was reeling. I had to do meditation to bring my mind back into focus.

I did manage to write the opening scene of the book so that was good. But then a friend send me a text about playing racquetball. That was the last straw. I broke.

But that taught me a good lesson. Tomorrow I won't even turn on my phone until after my writing is done. Tomorrow will be fine.

Instead of writing tonight I decided that I would send out my emails to the winners of my book giveaway. Yeah, I haven't done that either. I think I will though.

Late last night I did do some work on my cover for Samurai Zombie Hunter. So far people are liking it but it's not official until the folks on KindleBoards.com give me the seal of approval. The cover is above. Let me know what you think about it.

The last two day have been the day when everyone reports their sales on KindleBoards. It is always very inspirational and very depressing at the same time. I haven't checked my sales number in 75 days because I couldn't take obsessing on the sales anymore. So as I watch so many people increase month after month, in my mind I have only sold about 7 of each of my books. That impression makes me depressed because my books have to be better then some of theirs. I feel like I deserve to sell more than 7 books a month.

I did notice that my book Happiness May Vary has increased on my bestselling list. I'm hoping that it isn't because all of my other books have gotten weaker. It would suck if I've dropped down to 6 books a month.

Anyway, I should get to sending out the letters to the winners of Run From The Reaper. Jeez, I hope they enjoy it.

Today I Started Writing: Everybody vs The Ferret: 2

Book: Everybody vs The Ferret: 2
Words: None
Time: 9:30am - 7pm
Mood: Good
Impression: It's funnier than book 1

I have been a bit worried about this project. It is quite a challenge to say that you are going to write a book in a week. And this morning when I got up I had no idea what I would be writing. But 9:30am to noon I lied in bed and I actually came up with something pretty funny.

This basis of this book is that the fruitheaded girls discover the magical power of going bra-less and they unleash their power in their never ending quest to rule the school. The boy's who are under the girls' spell must then rescue themselves and the other students from the girls' power mad clutches.

Tomorrow I am doing a commercial so I won't be able to start writing. But I should be able to begin by Thursday. Hopefully it won't take me more than 2 days to write.

And it's funny about the commercial tomorrow. This is the off season for background work so when a friend suggested that I do a little hair therapy (cut my hair into a mohawk to make myself feel better about the emotional damage done by writing my last book) I thought it a great idea. The only reason that I usually don't have a mohawk is because I have to appear profession for acting or something else.

But hours after I did it I got my first call to do a background job for a commercial. That is so funny. I will go ahead and shave it off, but I was looking forward to having a mohawk for a while. But, of course, the good thing is that I get to hang out with more than a few beautiful women tomorrow. Writing Samurai Zombie Hunter has changed me in some fundamental way and now I feel like I'm on the prowl.

Who can explain these things.

Finished my book Samurai Zombie Hunter

Book: Samurai Zombie Hunter
Words: 2,540
Time: 11 - 1:30
Mood: Numb
Impression: I can't tell

I'm done. I don't know how it is. I just feel kind of numb. And personally I prefer not to think about it. I now have to change my focus and do a ton of other work. That has to be done by Monday so after that I will think about editing. I might also wait to edit this book and instead do it after my week of working on Everybody vs The Ferret: 2.

Honestly, I can't say much. I'm just spent. I have to think about cover and blurb, but all I want to do is play some racquetball so I'm going to do that. This is me spent.

My feelings before I finish this bastard book

Book: Samurai Zombie Hunter
Words: 3,947
Time: 11:30 - 6:30pm (minus 1hr)
Mood: Pretty good
Impression: This book represents the best story I can tell

Today was one of those day when I thought that I wrote more than I did. I'm not sure why I wrote so little today, but I did have to stop a couple of times to think of little details like my main character's last name and where the female interest lives. But still I worked 6 hours and wrote less than 4,000 words. That's unusual for me.

I know that I could have written more, but I will finish the book tomorrow and it will take me less than an entire writing day to do it. With that being the case, there is no use on working much later today. Also I hit a point when the climax of the story is about to begin and I would like to have a consistent mental state when I write.

I have decided that although this book and Run From The Reaper are similar genres, the two are very different books. RFTR is about the experience of reading a book while this book is about the emotion involvement of the story. In other words, one is character driven and the other is not.

And it's too bad I probably won't write a sequel to this book. It is clear that the next book would be quite the zombie tale. Half of this book had to be spent setting up the world and character. But not that it's created there is a lot of places that I can go with it. I am willing to say to myself "Good Job, Cristian" because I really did a great job of creating a compelling set of perimeters. Now if I can only get it reflected in the book's description.