Wednesday, April 4, 2012

My Brain is Starting to Fry!

First off, I would not make a good spy. In the last day I have twice published my pen name under my stage name. But that's Okay. I'm thinking about breaking down the wall that exists between the worlds anyway. The great thing about being self employed as a writer is that I don't have a boss that could fire me if the don't like something about me. The only people that I have to answer to are my readers. And it is my erotica readers that employ me so I have nothing to fear if I integrate my two worlds.

I think it will happen naturally though when the podcast airs. It's kind of hard to avoid it from happening the more my voice gets out there. And honestly, I would be comfortable with that. I will never print both names together, but I don't really care that much anymore if people know what I write.

On another topic, today was one of those draining days when by 2pm I was already asking myself, how other people do what I'm doing. It is always funny when I realize the answer. I asked myself how is it that other people are able to publish books while voicing their own audio books, while creating a personality test with a programmer in India while creating a podcast, and translating their books into foreign languages and creating audio books in those languages; and then I realize that there is no one else in the entire world doing that. What I am doing exceeds anything that any of the extremely successful romance authors are doing that it is ridiculous. Yet some how I keep thinking that I'm not doing enough.

I am literally doing 3 different things that no one else in the world is doing. Literally! Yet here I am saying that I'm not doing enough. What the hell man!

Come to think of it, I think I was supposed to be taking this week off, wasn't I? I knew that I couldn't because of the podcast, but I didn't suspect that I would actually be working. I'm not sure what I thought I would be doing, but I thought that because I wasn't writing, I would have all of this extra time to think about my life and grow as a person. Yeah right, my brain was fried after only 10 hours of work. That's how much I worked today; after only 10 hours, I was fried.

Today, me, the writer/voice over guy/sound producer/business owner, had to figure out a problem going on with the server 'A records' that my software programmer created to upload the mysql database onto my server. Damn mysql! By 9:30pm when I stopped working, my brain felt like it was melting. At one point I was on the phone with trouble shooting two different web hosting problems and once that was done I had to deal with 2 other problems having to do with 2 separate businesses that I own. And all of this was while I was Skyping with my programmer in India answering his questions. MY BRAIN WAS MELTING!

I guess what I should remember is that this too shall end. I will not continue to be this busy. Once this program is done I won't have to go through this again, and I will sell sooo many more books. But let me tell you, if I don't end up selling a ton more books, I will be so depressed. If this doesn't double my sales, in a shorter time period than usual, I will know that I really don't know what the hell I'm doing.

I can't imagine that it won't happen though. All of my author friends think that what I'm doing is an amazing idea and all of them keep saying how great it will turn out for me. All of them without exception. That's got to mean something, right?

I think what I'll do to help me better relax is pay for my scuba certification. How awesome will it be for me to go over to Catalina Island and go scuba diving? Doesn't that just sound like one of the coolest things ever? Aren't there seals and seaweed beds over there. And I'm from the Bahamas so maybe it's time that I got back into the ocean. Man, I can feel myself relax just thinking about it. Ok, it's a plan. This weekend I'm paying for my scuba certification lessons. Awesome!

Oh yeah, and I write books. Here they are.

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