And this is why I fail!

I have been talking to other erotic writers today. Apparently there are some issues with my second book in the series. The sex, I think, isn't very titillating. And supposedly, erotica, by definition, has to have titillating sex. So apparently Book 2 is destined not to sell well. :-(

But you know what, I realized something else about myself as well. I know why I haven't had the level of success that I so much crave. The reason can be referenced to a book that I read and have enjoyed. The book is 'Good To Great'. It is one of the places that I was taught the idea that good is the enemy of great.

I'm not going to lie to you, I want to be great. Good is okay, but my goal is greatness. Being good is about doing what everyone else does in a way that's better than most. That is what being good is. Being great has to do with doing things that no one else does and then doing that well.

I remember when I wrote my very first book. I had someone read it and they told me "You know Cristian, you should read more books and get a feel for how it's done." I told him that I didn't want to because I didn't want those books to influence my style. He asked me if I thought that I could reinvent the wheel when it came to writing, and my honest answer was yes.

Did I manage to reinvent the wheel yet? Well certainly I have learned how to write well without mirroring others and I can say that my first review for 'Happiness Thru The Art of... Penis Enlargment' called it "one of the most humorous and most unique books around." He also gave it 5 stars. Reviewers also call 'Run From the Reaper' "different." So I guess I will let others be the judge on whether or not I have failed or succeeded on that front.

I'm sure that I can figure out how to do things good. The singer Prince believed this about himself. But after a certain point he wanted to do the stuff that no one else was doing. The result was he wasn't as good. And unfortunately he hasn't achieved greatness in my opinion. Although he was truly great at Cochella music festival. Wow, simply amazing! I was stunned listening to it. It was at a different level than I have ever experienced.

But my problem is that every time I learn how things are done, I have to put a twist on it and do something similar but different. I realized this completely today when the other erotic writer was telling me what was standard. I got a very strong reaction to her because the idea of doing what was standard just wasn't acceptable to me. I need to break new ground. I fell like I don't even have a chance at greatness if I don't always take a left when everyone else takes a right. And that is why I fail.

But the tuff thing is that when I ask myself if I am willing to suffer my entire life trying for greatness instead of achieving goodness, I answer yes I am. I would prefer to be striving for greatness and failing, than to be good and complacent. Again, this is why I fail.