Monday, September 12, 2011

My First Review of my Ferret Series and My Favorite Bad Review

I was supposed to outline my next erotic fiction book today. Yeah, that didn't happen. Instead I sent out 94 review copies of 'Fixing Cupid.' Yep, that took me almost the entire day.

What I also did was looked at the reviews for 'Fixing Cupid' on the site where I have my worst reviews. I reread the bad reviews. Apparently I've gotten a new half star review. Yes, that is lower than a one star review. She really didn't like the sexual references I make in the book. And she really didn't like the copy of 'Everybody vs The Ferret: 1' that included along with it. She called it pornographic and said it should be banned. Okaaaay.

I then decided to look over the other 2 star or below reviews. It seems that all but one of them seemed to be because of the sexuality in the some of the humor. There were a lot of comparisons to 'The Hangover.' I don't see it at all. I think 'There's Something About Mary' is a much more accurate comparison. But I guess that movie isn't fresh in many people's minds anymore.

But I think that if I were to remove two or three things from the book my ratings would go up quite a bit. I'm not going to cut them because personally I feel that some of them help to add to the book's heart. I have included my favorite bad review below. It praises as well as insults. It makes me laugh every time I read it.

I was thinking that I could write male orientated books and find an audience. But the more I learn about this industry, I find out that it's a hard thing to make a living off of the male readership unless you write ScFi or Thrillers. So I'm thinking that I will give up on that angle and instead write clean friendly books for a while... you know, minus my short stint in erotica.

And I think that the first book that I will focus on after next week will be Hide From The Reaper. I'm going to start the Red Reaper series over and I will make it my first full novel in the mass audience style. It will be a blending of my strengths in a cleaner format. We'll see what happens.

The other thing I learned today is that my zombie book will not sell a lot of books. I offered free copies of Samurai Zombie Hunter on a giveaway site. When I offered Run From the Reaper I got 210 requests in a month, Fixing Cupid got 200 in a month, but Samurai Zombie Hunter got 148. It was tracking higher than all but one of the other books being offered, but it fell far short of my other books. And my other books aren't even selling that well. That does not show good signs of the popularity of the genre. Another author that was able to ride giveaways to $6000 a month in profit had 400 request for her books. So again it is back to the drawing board for me.

Oh hears something nice. While writing this post I received my editor's critique for my Everybody vs The Ferret books. He said, "quite honestly, they were enjoyable reads. I believe you were correct that I would not have figured out exactly what the ferret truly represented, or the grander design, if you hadn't clarified them for me. That is to say, I might have had a sense that there was some symbolism at work, most certainly in the third story, but it all wouldn't have been as clear. I did laugh out loud once or twice at something in each story, and I think it's fair to say that each sequel was better than it's predecessor."

That's not bad.

Now it's time for my favorite bad (2-star) review:

Fixing Cupid by Cristian YoungMiller has a great plot outline. Ben Bonner, is a lawyer who can’t find love. So through a series of events his best friend (and ex-fiancĂ©) Carey helps him move in with mysterious Jack, who turns out to be cupid. But before the love of his life can love him back, Ben ‘breaks’ Jack. Together with Anna (the love interest; who is a fellow lawyer; and bartender) they try to fix Jack’s cupid powers so that she can love him back. Oh, and the rest of the world can fall in love too.

The outline is a wonderful concept, then you throw in a “The Hangover” type crude humor, and it goes a little south of a top seller. The humor is great if you are into ‘wang comparisons’ and…well, there is a bit with a baby that is totally inappropriate, but okay, I found it mildly amusing. Some of it reads off as a movie script and I would totally watch this movie.But as a book it was one crazy event after another that you almost need to see to completely wrap your head around. It’s good for a good laugh, there are plenty of those in the book, but the base storyline seems to be strong in the beginning, loses it way near the middle, then finds itself in a keg party, and drunkenly stumbles back on track near the end of the book.

On the plus side it is a quick read, so if you like crude humor, by all means pick this one up, it has plenty of that, and somewhere in there, there is a nice bit of romance.

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