Sunday, June 12, 2011

Here's a reading of the chapter as I heard it in my head... how could people hate it so much?

I had and interesting experience today. Last night I wrote a post thanking a reviewer for giving me the suggestion to move the first chapter of Run From The Reaper to the prologue. And in the post on his blog I mentioned that I pulled the book from shelves and that it might not return. He wrote me back this morning saying that it "would certainly be a mistake" to permanently shelve it.

That surprised me since although he did recommend the book he only gave me 5 out of 10 stars. That's pretty mediocre. But he then went further than that. He said that it was "an entertaining story" that had "endless possibilities." And after that he preceded to list off all of the various genres and formats that I could explore the concept of the Red Reaper. He even mentioned turning it into a series.

That took me by surprise because a lot of my disappoint concerning that book was that I had hoped that this could be a series of books, but a book with bad reviews doesn't make a good series. The bad reviews that I got pretty much killed the possibility of people buying a second book much less the first book. But here was a reviewer that gave me a solidly mediocre rating encouraging me to turn it into a series. I just don't get it.

And what I also don't get is how even the reviewer who gave me the 5 out of 5 star review could talk negatively about my first chapter. She called it confusing and that is the best thing that was said about it. 2 reviewers referred to the first chapter as "unbearable." Again this is the chapter which I consider the best thing that I have ever written. How could we be so far off?

I loved it after I wrote it. I loved it after I edited it. I just recorded a reading of it and I have loved that too. How could I be so wrong about this chapter. How could a writer ever trust their writer instinct when such a chasm exists between what he thinks and what reader feel? For those who are interested in listening to the way that I heard the chapter in my mind when I wrote it, it is below. And please tell me, is it confusing? Is it unbearable? I really need to know.

I have to say that it was interesting to wake up two days ago. It was my first day post authorship. Perhaps in an unjustified way, I always thought of myself as special. No one ever said it to me. But maybe it was all the psychic things that happened to me growing up that made me think that I had some greater purpose. And yesterday was the first day that I could ever remember when I woke up and felt not special. It was my first day as just another guy. It didn't feel bad. I just felt a little sad that I had wasted my life thinking that I was something more. I've had so many wasted years when I could have instead chosen happiness.

I have also been giving some thought to my legacy these last two days. I have never thought that I would have a long life. Now I'm sure of it. And it is apt for me to start considering my legacy. I know I have my life-sized bronze statue in Rockford, Illinois. I guess that that is all anyone really needs in their life as a legacy. But I'm starting to wonder if I should go after more. Should I just finish the books I have so that when I'm gone and they continue to live in digital form, my Wikipedia page will say that I had a statue and that I wrote those books? I wonder. I guess having written books called Everybody Masturbates is already a fun Wikipedia legacy, but should I spend the time I have left beefing up my legacy? I wonder.

Here is my reading of what should have been the prologue for Run From The Reaper but instead was the first chapter.

No comments:

Post a Comment